Looking for a car? Here are some telltale signs of cars you may want to
* Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."
* Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.
* Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your
* Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist
* Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.
* Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.
* Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.
* Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.
* Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.
* Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.
* Jaws of life in trunk.
* The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.
* Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard.
* The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue Zip-Lok seals on your air bags.
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